Announcement
The Changing Structures of Families
Although most people picture a traditional family as a married man and woman and their biological children, this has not been the case for many years. For example, a family may consist of a single parent, a gay couple, or unrelated adults who live and raise children together.
Divorce forces many children into single-parent families or blended families created by adults living together or remarrying. About 33% of children are born to single mothers, and about 10% of children are born to single teenage mothers. Many children are raised by grandparents or other relatives. Over 1 million children live with adoptive parents
Even traditional families have changed. Often both parents work outside the home, requiring many children to receive regular care outside of the family setting. Because of school and career commitments, many couples postpone having children until their 30s and even 40s. Changing cultural expectations have resulted in fathers spending increasing amounts of time raising children.
Conflicts develop in every family, but healthy families are strong enough to resolve conflicts or thrive despite them. Whatever their makeup, healthy families provide children with a sense of belonging and meet children’s physical, emotional, developmental, and spiritual needs. Members of healthy families express emotion and support for each other in ways consistent within their own culture and family traditions.
The Effects of Divorce on Children
From – Merck Manuals Consumer Version
What is Alternative Dispute Resolution?
In the late 1980s and early 1990s, many people became increasingly concerned that the traditional method of resolving legal disputes in the United States, through conventional litigation, had become too expensive, too slow, and too cumbersome for many civil lawsuits (cases between private parties). This concern led to the growing use of ways other than litigation to resolve disputes. These other methods are commonly known collectively as alternative dispute resolution (ADR).
As of the early 2000s, ADR techniques were being used more and more as parties, lawyers and courts realized that these techniques could often help them resolve legal disputes quickly and cheaply and more privately than could conventional litigation. Moreover, many people preferred ADR approaches because they saw these methods as being more creative and more focused on problem solving than litigation, which has always been based on an adversarial model. The term alternative dispute resolution is to some degree a misnomer. In reality, fewer than 5 percent of all lawsuits filed go to trial; the other 95 percent are settled or otherwise concluded before trial. Thus, it is more accurate to think of litigation as the alternative and ADR as the norm. Despite this fact, the term alternative dispute resolution has become such well-accepted shorthand for the vast array of nonlitigation processes that its continued use seems assured. Mediation and arbitration—alternative dispute resolution has no fixed definition. The term alternative dispute resolution includes a wide range of processes, many with little in common except that each is an alternative to full-blown litigation. Litigants, lawyers, and judges are constantly adapting existing ADR processes or devising new ones to meet the unique needs of their legal disputes. The definition of alternative dispute resolution is constantly expanding to include new techniques.
ADR techniques have not been created to undercut the traditional U.S. court system. Certainly, ADR options can be used in cases where litigation is not the most appropriate route. However, they can also be used in conjunction with litigation when the parties want to explore other options but also want to remain free to return to the traditional court process at any point.
Of the many ways to resolve a legal dispute other than formal litigation, mediation, arbitration, early neutral evaluation, are the most common.
Getting divorced without breaking the bank
Jennifer Zoschak, a partner in the family law firm of Oswald & Zoschak in Lawrenceville, New Jersey, handled the divorce of a couple that had been married for more than 20 years. The wife—who she represented—earned 40 percent less than the husband, so Zoschak knew that alimony would likely be part of any settlement they reached in dissolving this long-term marriage.
The husband had other ideas and, through his attorney, fought for over a year against paying any kind of spousal support. With no resolution in sight, the case finally went to trial and the judge ultimately granted the wife permanent alimony. Total legal costs of this otherwise uncomplicated divorce: a whopping $300,000.
Weird Things All Couples Fight About
Sometimes the subject of Mediation can be stressful. This is especially true in Family Mediation.
To Start out the New Year on a Humorous note enjoy the video.
When is it time to get divorced?
A few weeks ago I read an article that stated people who have been married for many years are now getting divorced more frequently. Since reading the article I have noticed longer marriages in mediation. Long-term marriage divorces can be more complicated simply by more income, pensions, and more debt including foreclosure and/or bankruptcy. I recently had a case where when I asked if the marriage was irrevocably broken each party said no. We adjourned the case for four weeks. When we reconvened I asked what they decided and they still did not know. After a short mediation they decided to stay together and dismiss the divorce case. So the question is how do you know when it’s time to get divorced? Here is a list of eight reasons to call it quits on a relationship.
1. You’re Only Staying Because Of Religion
This can be a tough one. You might feel pressure from family or friends in your religious community to stay together. However, it’s never a good idea to be with someone simply because you share the same religion. If you’re not getting along with your partner in other ways, or you’re just not feeling that connection anymore, it’s time to move on.
2. Your Needs Aren’t Being Met
If you’re not being satisfied emotionally, sexually or intellectually, it’s probably time to move on. Ending a relationship is hard, but it’s sometimes the only correct thing to do. If you and your partner aren’t connecting on the most fundamental levels, it will be best for both of you to move on.
3. You’ve Lost Respect For Your Partner
It can be disheartening if you’re still motivated to achieve and your partner has become lazy. You might also lose respect for your partner if they’ve made promises that they clearly won’t (or can’t) fulfill. You should break off the relationship before it becomes tiring for both of you.
4. Your Partner’s Behavior Is Difficult Or Dangerous
For your health and safety, if your partner has a major drinking, drug or gambling problem, you should get out of the relationship as soon as possible. People who exhibit this kind of behavior are unpredictable and dangerous. Staying with them will undoubtedly cause you to suffer.
5. You No Longer Feel Sexually Attracted
No one wants to spend the rest of their life living with someone they’re no longer attracted to. You might think you’re respecting your partner’s feelings by not bringing up your sexual relationship, but prolonging the discussion will only lead to frustration and resentment. Breaking up hurts, but so does staying in an unsatisfying relationship.
6. You Have A Hard Time Forgiving
If you can’t forgive your partner for something they’ve done, things might be worse than they seem. Instead of blaming yourself for your inability to forgive, you should take time to examine why you’re having a hard time with it. It might be that you actually shouldn’t forgive them. If this is the case, you should probably break things off.
7. You No Longer Have Fun Together
Life’s simply too short to stay in a relationship with someone you don’t have a good time with. It could be that things are just in a rut. Maybe the two of you just haven’t been spending enough time together. However, if you’re consistently not enjoying yourself when you’re out on what’s supposed to be a fun date, it’s probably time to end things.
8. Long Term Goals No Longer Match
This is probably the most important reason to get out of a relationship. It might be that the two of you had the same plans for the future at one time, but people often change their minds. For example, if your partner decides they want kids when you’d previously agreed you didn’t want any, there’s going to come a time when one or both of you will become resentful, angry or both. This might be the hardest breakup of all. Everything else about your relationship might be compatible. However, if your long-term goals don’t match, you have to consider that a deal breaker.